‘Are We Dating the Same Guy?’: do Facebook groups harm or help?

For those who’re a single girl who’s relationship, you most likely know all concerning the “Are We Relationship the Identical Man?” teams on Fb.

The teams started in New York in 2022 to supply a personal platform for girls to share details about males and warn one another about deceit, infidelity and abuse, mentioned Alexandra Arko on the authorized information web site JD Supra.

However what started as a city-specific security collective has quickly expanded. Now there are greater than 200 group branches throughout the US and offshoots all over the world, together with one in London that has 90,000 members. Girls share males’s profiles from relationship apps and ask for info, whereas others reply with private anecdotes, screenshots of interactions or public info like prison data.

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The Los Angeles department (about 52,000 members) has now turn into embroiled in a $2.6 million lawsuit. One man, Stewart Lucas Murrey, is suing a lady who claimed that (after matching on a relationship app) the pair had had a telephone dialog in 2022 – throughout which Murrey was “impolite”, mentioned The Instances. Murrey can be suing greater than 50 different members who responded with their very own claims about him, alleging they “ruined his love life, broken his fame and price him hundreds of thousands in missed job alternatives”. The lawsuit additionally accuses the ladies of discrimination, as a result of Murrey was unable to affix the women-only group and defend himself.

Volunteer moderators have strict guidelines – members can’t submit addresses or figuring out info past a primary identify – however this presents members “a false sense of safety”. Anonymity can be a delusion, as courts “continuously” order social media platforms like Meta at hand over a consumer’s id. Deleting a submit doesn’t forestall the topic from suing, both. In any case, “the web is ceaselessly”.

Add that to the fact that just about a 3rd of girls aged 15-49 worldwide can be sexually or bodily abused – and that is to say nothing of emotional abuse, far tougher to quantify – and it is “no marvel we wish to sense-check each little element once we join with a stranger”. Finally, “girls speaking to one another shouldn’t be the issue: the tradition that makes it simple to behave badly is”.

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‘Are We Dating the Same Guy?’: do Facebook groups harm or help?

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