DEAR ABBY: Quarter-century marriage is an intimacy-free zone

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DEAR ABBY: I’m in a sexless 25-year marriage. It was not at all times this manner, however any intimacy has been over for greater than a decade. My spouse’s libido has waned, which I perceive. What she does do is frequently convey up points about me from years in the past as in the event that they had been yesterday.

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I’ve my faults, like lack of communication and shutting down, which I’ve objectively thought of a terrific deal and tried to make issues proper. I’m not violent, I don’t use medication or abuse alcohol. She stays adamant in her mistrust of me and punishes me by withholding all types of intimacy.

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We attended marriage counselling, the place I listened to her and acknowledged my points for redress. She, alternatively, justifies her actions and behaviours. She has her personal failings however doesn’t wish to hear how a lot her actions have damage me. She additionally didn’t hearken to the counsellor and won’t maintain herself accountable.

I really feel so lonely. She thinks an absence of intimacy is ok for a wedding, and that is irritating to me. I’ve introduced this as much as her quite a few instances, however she is not going to be moved. I may use your counsel on this. — LONELY MAN IN GEORGIA

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DEAR LONELY MAN: You tried counselling; counselling failed. Lack of intimacy (of any type) isn’t “wonderful” for a wedding. Name an lawyer and set your self free.

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DEAR ABBY: Throughout my 30s (I’m now mid-70s), I did some nude modelling for a number of respected photographers, which resulted in some pretty portraits. A number of of them have been framed and hold on my bed room wall.

My relations are conscious of them, however they’re very non secular (which I’m not), so I don’t know the right way to eliminate them. Ought to I attempt to promote them, and if that’s the case, how? Ought to I bequeath them to somebody, or ought to they be left for my property executor to cope with? What to do? — PORTRAITS IN THE SOUTH

DEAR PORTRAITS: Positively talk about this along with your executor properly earlier than the necessity arises. If the photographers are well-known, go browsing and discover out if there’s a marketplace for their work. Supply the portraits on the market and see if there may be any curiosity. You possibly can additionally bequeath them to an “open-minded” relative or buddy. I want you luck.

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DEAR ABBY: In a response to “Ganged Up On” (Dec. 23), you said that it’s in opposition to the legislation to hit a baby in California. It was in response to a girl whose mother-in-law spanked her grandchild. I used to be born in California and lived there greater than 50 years, and I imagine you misinterpreted the penal code.

It isn’t unlawful to spank in California. It IS unlawful to make use of extreme pressure, or to trigger traumatic harm when doing it. I don’t personally imagine {that a} little one ought to be hit, however it isn’t “unlawful.” In truth, corporal punishment, not abuse, is authorized in each state within the U.S. — DENISE E. IN NEVADA

DEAR DENISE: Mea culpa. I stand corrected. You aren’t the one reader I heard from after printing that reply. Thanks for straightening me out about this.

— Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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